A Test Of Your Game: The Group Approach

Sidewinder writes:

In-the-field game question:

In an informal bar setting, lots of people standing and talking within their own social groups-

When approaching or opening (whether the target girl or her friend), a form of bitch shield goes immediately up. Not a rude bitch shield, but a short, indifferent “I-don’t-know-you-and-i’m-going-to-be-polite-for-5-seconds-before-I-stop-talking-to-you” vibe. They provide no opening to DHV. While polite, they seem as if I interrupted their discussion. I believe it to be geniune disinterest and not some form of shit test.

As an average looking man of average height and weight, I completely understand their polite indifference. But I don’t even get a chance to game them. Any tips on how to hook them into a convo?

This sounds like a problem of game fundamentals. Are you opening with a false time constraint? “Hey, guys, I only have a second, but my friend and I were wondering…”. Something along those lines. FTCs are a psychological ploy that put strangers at ease that you aren’t a weirdo who will loiter uncomfortably around their group seeking social validation. It also causes a listener to invest more attention into what you are about to say, since you won’t be around for long. It’s similar in principle to the sales technique of product or price constraint (“This model going fast!” “These rock bottom prices won’t last!”).

Also, are you approaching from an angle, looking at the group from over your shoulder? Body position is critical to approach success. A guy striding into a group head-on will trigger shields faster than a cool dude glancing over his shoulder. Try finding a spot next to the bar so that you can stand facing outward. It makes opening adjacent sets much easier.

Another thought: you might be blowing yourself out with bad body language or poor style. Either of those things can cause a group to immediately shut you out, but particularly the first. (Poor style can be compensated for with confident BL.)

I’d need to know more specifics to give you advice suited to your problem, such as what it is exactly you are saying or doing as you approach. In the meantime, I’ll toss this test-of-your-game discussion to the studio audience to hash out for your benefit (or their amusement).

UPDATE

Anonymous writes:

While looking like you’re writing a text, ask the group if anyone speaks Spanish (or another language one of them is likely to speak and you’re not likely to know as well).

The hottest woman will assume that someone other than she has your thoughts (the person you’re writing to mainly and the volunteer translator secondarily). It’s an open ended question as well, but be prepared to have an amusing sentence to translate, or a mysterious one, or one that confers status without it being obvious what you’re doing. Or all three.

Often you’ll get the translation and sit back down at your spot while they go about their conversation. That’s OK. You’re now an old friend to them or at least a known quantity. Your status is higher as a result. You can reopen with a different sentence to translate or open with something else. You’ve got good guy cred at that point.

Cell phones are now one of the best props ever.

Excellent DQ/DHV all in one. Might as well use technology to your maximum benefit. For even better results, ask girl(s) if anyone speaks Russian.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *