Agent Provocunteur

Maxim #112: Never underestimate the sneaky lengths to which a woman’s female friends will attempt to undermine her relationship with a boyfriend or husband they don’t approve of.

I was walking with a girl when one of her close female friends called. I listened in on the side of the conversation available to me.

“I’ve found the perfect guy for you… You’d really like him…. No, he’s really cute…. Do you remember Ben from Mischa’s party?…. Yes!, isn’t he funny?…. Oh you guys would be so perfect together…. I know I know….. So what?….. Oh don’t be such a worrywart…. I heard he’s a really good dancer too…. Maaaaaaybe I’ll invite him out after our Yoga class…. *laugh*…”

I knew her girl friend on the phone. She was a cute Asian girl, 28 years old, currently dating a white man in his 50s. They had been dating for over a year when we were all introduced at a party once. I remember the man was in shape and presentable, though he looked his years, with a neatly coifed head of silver hair. I was told he was an excellent tango dancer and that’s how they met. I was also told by third parties that he was uninterested in marriage or children, preferring the freedom of his bachelor life. I was naturally intrigued by this man because I am compelled to give props to any older man without obvious compensatory means who is able to bag a much younger and cuter chick on his terms. I observed them closely at the party, and noticed the Asian girl’s obvious love and devotion for him as she tenderly rested her hand on his knee. For his part, he looked at her with pride and love, and struck the acceptable alpha pose of a man in control of his love life (satisfied, borderline smug, smile coupled with glances of affection and contented stares into the distance.)

In other words, there was no evidence the Asian girl friend on the phone was dissatisfied with her older gentleman boyfriend.

Before their phone conversation was over, I leaned into the mouthpiece and shouted “Homewrecker!” The girl with me giggled.

Laugh it up, muffball.

I asked my woman companion why, if her girl friend was happy with her boyfriend, she was trying to set her up with another man? I was offered a pu pu platter of Rationalizing Hamster savories.

“But he doesn’t want kids and I know she does.”

“Did you ask him personally if he doesn’t want kids? Did you ask her if she wants to leave him because of the kids issue?”

“It’s not just the kids. He likes to stay indoors and do his own thing, and she’s just doing what he wants to do. They’re not compatible.”

“You’re absolutely positive she’d rather be out hanging with the girls instead of staying at home with him?”

“Yes, she’s a fun girl. She would be happier with someone on her wavelength.”

“She seems pretty happy right now with him.”

“He’s not serious about her.”

“Are you a mindreader?”

“Stop it. It’s a girls thing. We have intuition about this.”

“Don’t hate on love.”

If you’ve ever harbored doubts about the inherently evil nature of women as you diligently polish the porcelain pussy pedestal in your head which refuses to dislodge itself, look no further than the scheming, manipulative ploys women will happily pursue in service to destroying the love between a female friend and a man they don’t think is “appropriate” for her.

Love, as fragile, rare, and transcendent as it is, means nothing to women when the man in question offends their hypergamous sensibilities and their urge to conformity. It doesn’t even matter if the man is not their own lover. They will seek and destroy anything which subverts the established pussy order.

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