Alpha Assessment Monday: Tuesday Edition!

Why Tuesday? For the same reason you should sporadically cancel dates on girls. Defy expectations.

Case #1

Submitted by G:

So a girl texted me with a question, which I answered with one word, then gave her the following:

Me: I had Chinese for lunch today. My fortune cookie read: “You have inexhaustible wisdom and power.” The Chinese are very wise people, indeed.

Her: So, I presume you turned the fortune over, and it also read “but your humility is exhausted”?

Me: The flip side read, “Consequently, you have no need for humility.” As I said, a wise people.

Her: ha. nice.

Pass or no pass?

Did you respond to her “ha. nice.” text with a smilie? Then you failed. Otherwise, you passed.

I do like the way you reined in your witticisms. Many guys go beta by laying on the wit too thick. One or two funny quips is all you need, sprinkled liberally with one word game. You’re not trying to entertain her; she’s there to entertain you.

Case #2

Submitted by Chris:

I’m at a friend’s wedding two weekends ago and I see a friend of the bride, who used to be fat, but has since lost a good amount of weight (and now looks decent, I’d say a 7).

I flirt with her a little early on, but ignore her until the end of the night. I’m dancing with some friends and catch her eye across the room. She waves at me to come where she is, but I shake my head and give her the “no, YOU come HERE” curled finger. She complies and we dance for a bit.

After about 10 minutes, I head to the bar for another drink. On the way back to my table to grab my smokes I pass her, hand her my phone and say “put your number in here.” On my way back I grab the phone without saying anything else.

I wait until Wednesday to call her – conversation lasts a solid half-hour. We make plans to meet up Saturday for dinner. I meet her at the restaurant, food is good, conversation is good. She’s still in grad school and pays for her own apartment, so she doesn’t have a ton of cash. So I pick up dinner but tell her she owes me desert. So she takes me to a Japanese place where we get some crazy thing that they light on fire. I ask her to come with me to another wedding in a couple weeks, which she agrees to. End of the night – no kiss close, but solid IOIs during the night.

Tuesday I send her a txt:
“You’re coming with me to a concert Friday.”

She instantly calls me and we talk for a few minutes and she agrees to go.

Yesterday, she calls me around 5pm, and I don’t answer. She leaves a voicemail saying that she can’t go out Friday night because she gets up at 4am on Friday and 6am on Saturday and that she’ll be too tired.

I wait until 1030pm to text her:
“That’s fine about Friday, but if you flake on me for the wedding you’re done.”

No response yet. I think I did well up until maybe the last text which perhaps was too asshole-ish. Thoughts?

+1 for flirting and then ignoring her.
+1 for the finger curl.
0 for the creative digit close (amusing, but it sounds like you forced the number close before building enough attraction).
-1 for the half hour follow-up conversation (ten minutes, tops).
-1 for the dinner date (dinners are horrible date ideas, and even worse first date ideas).
-1 for paying for her dinner (so what if she’s poor? plenty of poor girls manage to buy themselves shoes and handbags).
-1 for asking her to accompany you to a wedding before you’ve even banged her.
-1 for inviting her to two different dates (wedding and concert) so soon after the first date (neediness).
-1 for getting upset and not handling her flake with uncaring asshole humor.

Total score: -4

Is it any wonder she blew you off with an obvious lie?

UPDATE:

Her text the next day:
“Nope we are on 4 the wedding since it starts @ 5 I will have energy.”

Me, 2 hours later:
“I plan on being the center of attention so make sure you’re prepared.”

Her, the next day:
” you are too much!”

Me, an hour later:
” Did your phone break for a day?”

She’s got hand, and she knows it. She’s toying with you. You showed too much interest too soon by inviting her here, there, and everywhere. From now on you can expect this sort of impolite behavior from her, where she waits hours to text back and leaves you wondering about her feelings for you. You will be lucky to get the bang. If you haven’t banged, I suggest canceling the wedding date and offering a nebulous “better idea for a date” which you will call her later with details.

Case #3

Submitted by biktopia:

I was at my bf’s friend for dinner last week, and heard a interesting one,
this guy told me, that when he is going home with a girl he just met, and the girl says, i will just sleep at yours, nothing will happen, i’m not that kind of girl, then he knows for sure the girl will go to bed with him.
I will agree that this statement is 100% true.

This statement is contingently true. Her intent is 100% to go to bed with him, but execution of intent depends on his skill at affording her a plausible non-slut rationalization.

Case #4

Submitted by vicmackey:

girl i met about a week ago. dinner with common friends. very friendly talk and stuff. i do not game (just starting to know the Game) but i am usually pleasant and funny. we are both grad students.

anyhow, sent message today about going to get a beer. this is exchange:
——————
Me: Hi S.,

I am meeting a few friends tonight for a beer. I’d like if you could come.

It is going to be at 10pm at XX.

See you
F.
—————-
Hi F!

I’d have liked to meet up tonight, but I just got back from watching a friend in the Marathon and have been in X Park all weekend, so I’ve got about seven hours of work in front of me.

Let me know if you all go out again any time soon though; would love to join.

Hope all is well!

S.
———————
Me: call you next time then!

bye
__________________

any grave mistakes? suggestion for next steps?

Your first mistake is the tone of your date invitation. “I’d like if you could come” sounds needy, earnest and too polite to be appreciated by the crass beasts that American women have devolved into. Are you a foreign man from a feminized culture? If so, you’ll have to chuck the temptation to act chivalrously. A better invitation would be this (note the lack of punctuation): “im meeting a few friend for drinks. come and ill let you buy first round.”

Your second mistake was even bothering to respond to her blatant blow-off. Know this about girls: When they are interested in you, they will make the date happen. It doesn’t matter if her excuse was true (it wasn’t) or if it had any bearing on her ability to meet you for drinks (it didn’t), the fact is that she put you down nicely because you had not triggered a gina tingle. If you had coaxed a tingle she would have offered a second date idea. Instead, she left you hanging with that weak “let me know IF YOU ALL go out again” group hug LJBF.

Do you want to be Master of the Gina Tingle? Then you need to toughen up and stop treating women as something other than the smelly, tawdry, mudcaked, vagina following, venal animals they are. This means you need to summon your inner asshole. “Call you next time then!” are not the words of your inner asshole. Calling her from an undisclosed location at 1AM with lots of women’s voices laughing in the background and telling her to “wear your highest heels and bring some cash” are the words and actions of the asshole women love.

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