The Chateau has received quite a few requests for text game advice lately. Here are a few.
First of all, let me say thanks a ton for your insightful blog. Two months ago, I didn’t even know what game was. Largely due to reading your’s and Roosh’s blogs, I’m slowly climbing the ladder from greater beta (my natural element) toward alphadom. Two weeks worth of reading the knowledge contained within the catacombs of the Chateau helped me get a bang!
Today I got into a text conversation with a girl I’ve been banging, and I think I ran some solid text game with interesting results. The back story is that I’ve been sick, haven’t bothered contacting her in 4 days and she’s wondering where I’ve been. She’s asking if my illness is causing me to lose muscle mass and strength. See the relevant part of the conversation below:
Her: I’ve got an extra 5 lbs you can have 🙂
Me: Psh you don’t have any extra weight, I can bench press two of you
Her: You can huh? You only seemed to manage one of me at the pool!
Me: That’s shoulder press, totally different
Her: Let’s see this bench press then, sir!
Me: Find a girl of equal weight and I’ll bench the two of you in a stack. No dudes though, I ain’t no fruit!
Her: You just want to see me on top of another girl!
Me: She can be on top of you, I’m not picky
Her: As long as i get to pick her out… I’m not sold on your taste 😉
Me: I have impeccable taste, thankyouverymuch. However, I’ll allow you to pick your top 3 choices and then I’ll narrow it down
Her: You trust my taste in women then? I pick katty, sandy, or madi 🙂
Me: Kat heartily dislikes my presence, so she’s vetoed by executive decision. Pics of the other two???
Her: Hot mexican or skinny blonde?
Me: Blonde for the win
Her: Haha, i haven’t seen madi in a couple of months, but i’ll work on it.
Me: I’m down
Her: Haha but fist you have to prove you can bench press me by myself.
Me: I think I can handle that
Her: Haha, but maybe not when you’re sick
Me: Im getting better
Her: Well, what are you up to after my work tonight, mr. Healthy bench presser?
Me: After you’re done? How about I work on “bench pressing” you
Her: Haha, is that what the kids are calling it these days? I’ll give you a call after work 🙂
Me: You don’t know what bench pressing two girls at once means? Get with the times! I’ll talk to you tonight
It seems like she’s down for it. Any ideas on how to [keep] the momentum of this threesome idea building until it’s a reality?
Your protege in evil and debauchery,
Texting as a substitute for long-form conversation is somewhat beta in nature. You risk lowering your value by playing a “girl’s game”; and make no mistake, typing hundreds of witty replies back and forth sight unseen, your dick nowhere near her pussy, is playing by a girl’s rules. It is inescapably betatizing.
That said, these are new times, and it seems a lot of girls can’t flirt outside of a textual context. A by-line of grudging acceptance has been added to the Chateau Guest Rules to account for the reality of endless text game.
As for the emailer’s question about how to swing a threesome with this chick he’s banging and texting ad nauseam, there is only a sense from the exchange that she did not fully comprehend, or accept, the seriousness of his innuendo. It sounds like she is playing along for fun, not for profit. He’s on the right track by telling her to pick out the girls she would want to include in a threesome, but his tone is too glib, when he should be affecting a pose of laconic pimpery. She should feel a growing nervousness if his offer is taken under serious consideration by her. Such nervousness would manifest as stronger shit tests, which is how girls relieve their burgeoning arousal (which, in women, is always tainted with a hint of fear), yet her shit tests in this exchange are too playful and goofy to suggest anything other than she doesn’t really believe what he’s saying.
His tone, too, sounds overeager. There should be a disqualification in there somewhere, like “we’ll see”. He should wait two weeks before bringing up the subject again, (in order to neutralize the impression of eagerness), and when he does reintroduce the subject he should do so with more dominating gravitas.
One other point: a man never submits the coda to a text exchange (or, for that matter, a phone conversation), unless he is telling her he has to go. The last text should have been hers, when she wrote “I’ll give you a call after work :)”.
Here is a great example of non sequitur game in action.
I felt I must share a recent experience I’ve had, and reiterate how truly powerful the non-sequitor game is, (not too mention the purely alpha possibilities it opens.)
When you posted your readers email and your comments/analysis on the email I was sitting on the couch, surfing the internet trying to decide which way my weekend was going to take me. The obvious answer was to try what you had posted, I texted this super hot Russian-hole I’d met a couple weeks prior we had hung out a couple times prior. I really felt I was getting close to the LJBF mode so I had stopped contacting her and was letting her ice. The text coversation is as follows:
(2:35p) me: sounds good
(2:35p) her: 🙂 ? What sounds good? 🙂
(2:47p) me: my bad wrong person
(2:48p) her: 🙂 ok how r u?
(2:53p) me: good
(2:55p) her: 🙂 I just woke up from a nap 🙂 thinking what im going to do today..
(3:08p) her: 🙁 no plans at all..for now i think maybe a movie later…
(4 :23p) her: still home, did you want to hang out? 🙂
(4:45p) me: not feeling the movie thing
(4:45p) her: it’s ok, we can do what you want, i can be ready in 20 minutes
(5:12p) me: yeah sounds good
(I re-use the opener to make reenforce that we’re only talking because I accidently texted and she chased me into hanging out)
(5:56p) me: on my way
I picked her up and we hung out, we went to bourbon street and I did everything I could to to continue the facade that I didn’t really even care about hanging out with her. I smiled at every 8+ girl I saw, and let this guy continue to hit on her through much of the night, at one point my mom called (I know not cool, but my dad is chronically ill and when she calls that late something bad has usually happened… of course I never let the girl knew who called I simply just walked out of the bar, phone-to-ear, and got the intel on my dad.) I was out for a few minutes, 3-5, when I came back in, I saw her at the bar with the guy that had been trying to game her. Beta-man was buying her a drink, I walked up to the two and for the first time made a comment to the guy, “Having a good night?” I’m not sure if he replied or not but she immediately asked who was on the phone, I just shook my head waiving off her question and went to restroom. I came back out and her and Beta-man were still talking, the second I approached she left his side walked up to me and asked, “So, did you want to get a hotel?” Of course, I responded, “Sure, let’s get out of here.”
I dropped a little bit of money on a hotel and had one of the wildest nights of my life. From the minute we entered the room until we checked out the next morning I was covered in warm Russian love-butter.
I have always been fairly good at the game but this entry is powerful, it really emphasizes the power of text-game. This shit is evil good and must be added to everyone’s playbook that is trying to capitalize on a number you have but can’t seem to f-close.
When we left the hotel on the ride home she asked why I don’t have a girl friend and I told her that I get bored easy, telling her, “When I meet a girl I buy a gallon of milk, and when it expires I get rid of her.” I have no idea where that line came from but it just flowed out effortlessly, in the couple weeks since the f-close it has been nothing but her chasing me, trying to not beat the expiration date rule.
+1 for aloofness and non-sequitor game.
Indeed, young padawan. Not only is this a fantastic example of non sequitur game, it is also a clinic in how to properly run aloof and indifferent uncaring asshole game. As has been written here before, Russian chicks are especially vulnerable to aloof game. Privet!
Went on a date with a 22 year old 8.5.
She was dumb and aloof as shit (she literally has ADD, and it shows), but hot as shit. Immediate shit test: she comes in talking on the phone and doesn’t hang up when we sit down. I go to the bathroom and come back and she’s off the phone. Exceedingly difficult to talk to, it’s like she’s 15. after 1.75 hours and 2 beers, we bounced. Enough IOIs that I kissed her and we continued to make out on the street. Brought her back to my place to party with roommates, despite the fact that she said she had to get up early for a family gathering. She got shy and reserved and sucked. She was ruining my night, so I drove her home. Kissed more in the car, but she seemed more reserved on the way home.
Texted her 48 hours later: was the family gathering as fun as you envisioned?
her: it was ok. i only watched on race though. [gathering was at a race track]
me: haha. wtf did you do the whole time then?
her: i chased around a 5 year old and drank
me: lol. what’s your week looking like, we need to have our second date.
her: it’s shark week this week.
me: i live every week like it’s shark week.
No response. Her texts were always dry short, before and after we had the date. She will not text again, it’s not her style. What should I do AND What should I have done? I still want to pierce her labia.
Texting a girl after a difficult date is approval-seeking. It won’t help, and it could hurt your future chances with her. If you want to know how well a date went (as perceived by the girl, which, hate to say, is the perception that matters for getting laid), see if she texts you first. Girls who feel good after dates will often, in fact almost always, text you soon after the date has ended. They can’t help themselves. It’s like they want to shout their tingles from the top of a mountain.
Your text exchange started off badly and didn’t get any better. You are forcing rapport by asking about her family gathering when she knows you don’t really give a shit, and by dropping random “lol”s and “haha”s in reaction to her sub-par humor.
Also, when asking for a second date, never say “we need to…”. “Need” is a verboten beta word, passive and weak. You should banish its use from all your interactions with women. Instead, say “Let’s get together”, or even “I want to see you again”.
Make no mistake, her shark week excuse was a humiliating rejection so patently absurd that I’m surprised you even bothered taking her seriously after that. Your subsequent reply was beyond lame. No wonder she didn’t respond. The world could practically hear her pussy snapping shut.
What you should have done: “Bring the movies”. Text a second date meeting time and place and tell her the first round is on her. It sounds like the first date was a loss, so a follow-up from her was unlikely, and as we can see a “normal” text feeler from you did not have any positive impact on whatever lukewarm feelings she had for you. Going forward, you may want to try non sequitur game, like the emailer above. But more probably you will have to NEXT this girl.
Comments from the Chateau about this man’s text game are interspersed in bold.
This is my first time writing you, so let me say thanks for putting out what I consider to be the most important site on the web for males. I am a natural beta and this site has had an incredible positive impact on my quality of life and happiness.
Anyway, an old girlfriend texted me out of the blue yesterday and the exchange is below. I don’t really want a relationship with her again, but I do hang out a lot in the town she currently lives in and wouldn’t mind keeping open the possibility for a late night rendezvous. My goal with this exchange was basically to ignite some gina tingles for a potential meetup in the future.
Quick Backround: We dated for about a year. She broke up with me about a year ago for some BS reason, but after discovering your site, I realized it was because I had become pathetically beta. She’s 23 now ( I’m 24) and works for a huge accounting firm in NYC. She was probably a solid 6-7 back when we dated, I attached a picture for reference (sorry I couldn’t find any nudes). [Ed: Accurate ranking. She’s a 6.] I’ve added any explanatory comments in italics.
Her (12:17 AM): I miss you
Me (7:03 AM): cant say I blame you
Her (9:01 AM): Do you miss me?
Me (11:32 AM): What do you miss most about me?
[Excellent deflection and reframe.]
(All of the below texts were sent within 15 minutes of the previous one)
Her: We had fun together
Me: Do you know what I miss most about you?
Me: Big boobs (seriously, 34D @ 5’5’’ 125)
Her: If that’s the case then I guess that doesn’t say much about our relationship
Me: Just sayin they were nice. It’s a compliment. Anyway I recall you ended it
Her: I know. I was in the wrong.
Me: Is this your way of trying to get back together?
Her: No I am just telling you
[She’s lying. No girl contacts an ex out of the blue unless she wants to be with him again. Watch Swingers.]
Me: Its ok you don’t have to be coy about it
Her: LOL do you really expect me to randomly say after like a year lets get back together
Me: Hey im not the one sending random I miss you texts
Her: OK then sorry I won’t say anything
Me: Don’t get upset. Anyway I meant what I said
Her: You meant what?
Me: That I miss your boobs. They were fun to play with
[The boob joke was funny at first, but now is overplayed. If you want to convert her to a fuckbuddy you have to, at some point, show a little attainability, which means curbing the cocky/funny act and assuaging her female sensibility. You run the risk here of overqualifying (out-assholing) yourself.]
Her: Great thanks
Me: What fun things do you miss most about us?
Her: Doesn’t matter
[No surprise that she is clamming up with regret. You could have jumped straight into comfort stage with her because your value was already sky high.]
Me: Hey don’t get upset. I wanna know what it was.
Her: We just had a great time together in my opinion
Me: Like what specifically? Im trying to remember
[This is a great asshole line, but might be counterproductive at this point.]
Her: Are you still in east Brunswick? (my hometown, moved back after college and am still here for now)
[Now she’s redirecting the conversation.]
Me: No actually I moved to california
Her: Really or are you joking
Me: Haha got me. Still in NJ. You never answered my question still.
[Good save to regain convo leadership.]
Her: Our trips. Relaxing. Movies. I moved to Hoboken (In NJ, Directly across the river from NYC. Known for its many bars and single young professionals)
Me: Its nice there. Easy to meet a lot of people. How do you like it?
Her: I love it
Me: I should tell you im getting married
Me: Yeah I should have mentioned it before
Me: Haha just joking. Cmon I thought you were sharper than that. Do you really think Id do that to myself?
Her: Why wouldn’t you what to get married? I do
Me: I don’t blame you. I just don’t think im marriage material. Its too hard to pick one person forever
Her: Maybe. But when you love someone you know I feel Just because you didin’t feel that way about me doesn’t mean you won’t (WTF??)
[Don’t sweat it. This seemingly disqualifying reply is just the female hamster spinning to death. She’s trying to trap you into chasing her.]
Me: What? That didn’t make sense
Me: Haha ok. you must still be drunk from last night. So what do you do for fun in Hoboken?
Her: No I’m not. I’ve been working a lot and studying for my last part of the cpa. But I run and like the bars around
Me: Cool. Im sure you do work a lot. Are you partner yet? (I know it takes 15 yrs to make partner there)
Her: Soon. Another year
Me: Yeah you wish. For real do you know what the best way to get promoted is?
Her: Don’t even start. I’m sure you going to say something sex related
Me: Haha so you know its to sleep with your boss? Maybe you really will be partner in a year then…
Her: You’re def not the guy I used to know
[Normally, this admission would be a good thing, but since she contacted you first she already had it in her head that she wanted to fuck you again. Therefore, your cocky asshole act may be backfiring and driving her away.]
Me: That’s not true. Im still as ruggedly good looking and charming as ever
[The banter was good, but went on for too long. Again, you likely overplayed your hand by revving your engine in the attraction phase without switching gears into a smooth cruise of genuine rapport. You needed to get real with her so she had the flimsy excuse she sought to rationalize sleeping with you again. And don’t focus so much on dating vs fucking and moving her into the FB zone. That will work itself out *after* you start banging. Keep your eyes on the prize.]
This is a decent representation of my text game and the type of attitude and banter I try to get over on the phone. I’d love to hear your comments about what I said, my frame, and overall alphaness from this. I think this is a good litmus test considering how this relationship ended and where I am now. Also, any suggestions from you as how to proceed from here would obviously be appreciated.
Your overall alphaness was try-hard lesser alpha. You have lost sight of the sweeter brushstrokes of game in favor of the crowd-pleasing fireworks. Regulate yourself before you celibate yourself. In the future, if you talk to her again, make sure it is face-to-face, and keep your mouth shut. Her hamster will find a way into your pants. After that, manage the relationship in the direction you want it to go. To convert her to a fuckbuddy, this is easy: just refrain from talking to her or taking her out more than once per week, and never on the weekends.