Chicks Dig Jerks: A Series Without End

The ‘Chicks Dig Jerks’ series is a running theme here at the Chateau. Let’s face it, the material is practically limitless. Thank you ladies, for continuing to uphold the most virtuous traditions of your open-minded gender.

In our latest go-round, 19 year old model Jourdan Dunn gives birth to a bastard child by a convicted coke dealer:

Jourdan Dunn’s Longtime Boyfriend, Father of Her Son, Arrested for Cocaine Possession — Jourdan Dunn, who gave birth to a son in December, made a return to the catwalk at Aquascutum just five days ago, but news today may affect her schedule for the rest of the season.  Jordan Cummings, 20, the father of her son and her longtime boyfriend (they’ve reportedly been together about five years), was arrested last night and sentenced to 3.5 years jail time for possession of 2 ounces of cocaine with intent to supply. Dunn, who lives with her mom and younger brothers, made no comment, but it’s suspected that Cummings’s long sentence was due to similar previous convictions.

A third-party quote in another article on this story is unintentionally hilarious:

One source said last night: “The police kicked down his front door when they arrested him.

“He’s well-known on the streets as a dealer. He’s been dealing since he was a teenager, and makes about £1,000 a week. He and Jourdan are always out and have been together about five years – though I’ve never heard marriage mentioned.”

Jourdan, who lives with mum Dee and two younger brothers in Greenford, West London, refused to comment. But a pal said: “She is devastated. She is committed to raising her son and focusing on her career.”

“Devastated”. Chick dates dude for five years and is devastated by his arrest? She didn’t know what he did for a living all that time? Yeah, I bet she was devastated. Devastated that he got caught.

Reader N.W. who sent me this article, had this to say:

Jourdan Dunn is a pretty, high-flying Afro-British model and she’s back after maternity leave. I’m of the opinion really good looking black girls are harder to score than really good looking white girls since their beauty is exotic and they are very scarce.

So, enquiring minds want to know the identity of the father, or in other words, who’s game is so tight he can:

1. date a model
2. have sex with a legit top model
3. impregnate a top model
4. have her keep the kid thereby imperiling her looks.

We have the answer!

I don’t know if he is a nice guy or not, but possession with intent to supply places him on the Chris Brown side of the ledger.

Yes, this guy has world beating game. Namely, asshole game. As I’ve written before:

Maxim #71: In their sexual primes women’s attraction for assholes is at its strongest. You can catch a lot of hungry flies with honey, but shit attracts the most well-fed flies.

You don’t need to be an asshole to pick up hot girls, but there’s no denying that asshole game is an extremely potent attractant of the hottest babes (i.e. the ones who matter most). For those of you with zero ethical compunctions, I say raise your asshole flag and let it fly. Marching under its banner will cause your enemies to tremble with desire and surrender themselves willingly, laying down a crimson path of engorged vulvae to herald your arrival.

Asshole game, ironically, might most benefit those men who are farthest from embodying the asshole ideal. If you’re a hopeless case who suffers long dry spells, and who has tried to learn game but can’t seem to make it work no matter what you do, you need to drop a MOAB (Mother Of Asshole Bombs) on your targets. When all else fails, become an Avatar of Assholery. It’s the backup, last ditch option that almost always works.

This post dedicated to Anoukange.

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