Conversational Momentum

A consequence of being a man is that it’s your burden to energize and direct conversations with girls. A girl who is on the fence about you will offer little in the way of chatty tokens to cash in for new topics of interest. Even a girl who is interested will hardly put in equal effort at sustaining a conversation beyond the meagerest bounds of politesse. It is simply not in the nature of girls to direct and lead conversations along fruitful paths. As with sex, girls prefer to follow a strong conversational leader, and to ricochet joyously off a charismatic man’s titillating badinage.

And this is one of the great blind spots that dog the typical man engaged in flirty talk: he doesn’t know when enough is enough.

To wit: I noticed a lot of commenters to this post, in describing how they would continue gaming bikini-clad girl, felt it necessary to revisit the invisible shark theme which had threatened to be the denouement of the protagonist’s precious few minutes of lust-hued inquisitiveness. Such a course of action would have been a misjudgment, and guaranteed the fizzling of any nascent sexual interest.

Women (normal women, that is; not nerdgirls who make up the majority of their gender who read blogs not having to do with celebrity gossip or food) do not like to revisit conversational topics, to hammer them into submission, to delve into them with an analytical scalpel. Women instead (and particularly in the company of men who aspire to be their lovers) want to careen from one subject to another, getting their emotional fill in superficial bursts of topical teasers. This way, they are entertained without risking social embarrassment from uncouth scrutiny. And they can afford to be thus so entertained and carelessly unenlightened, blessed as they are by providence with the more valuable reproductive cargo.

Men evince, like so many other sex differences seemingly the genesis of some creator prankster, a preference for just the opposite. We prefer to examine a topic until its entrails have been spooled out on the ground before us, poked and prodded with mental instruments of logical brutality, until revelation or argument victory, whichever comes first, descend upon the listening attendees like trumpet blares. Men will, given free rein, exhaust a topic to death, for to leave a theme unresolved is akin to walking off the baseball diamond in the bottom of the ninth with the score tied, happy that no one goes home a loser. A clear WTF moment if you sport a couple of dangling stones.

Unfortunately for the needs of the penis, this manly urge to disembowel a conversational topic is kryptonite to picking up women. To a woman’s mind, it reeks of social clumsiness at best, aspie retardation at worst. And since it is primarily women’s minds, and not their eyes, to which men must appeal, the “beating a topic to death” syndrome is one that must be recognized with haste and banished with malice aforethought.

To put it in algorithmic form easily understood by the core audience:

Bad Flirting

YOU: Topic A

HER: HAHA!, slight twist on Topic A

YOU: Resurgent Topic A

HER: ha…, slipping interest in Topic A

YOU: Topic A again, nervously, this time with feeling

HER: cya

Good Flirting

YOU: Topic A

HER: HAHA!, slight twist on Topic A

YOU: Opportunistic springboarding from twisted Topic A into Topic B

HER: Double HAHA!, pleasant surprise at introduction of Topic B


HER: rosy vulva

I hope you can see what is going on here. If you can’t, may I suggest a blog more suited to your temperament? Perhaps a mommy blog? Or an economist’s blog?

Revisiting topics that initially garnered a positive response from a girl is try-hard approval seeking. It is the clarion call of the beta who can’t believe his luck that he said something interesting to a girl, and now feels the overarching need to suck the life out of it in endless sequels. Don’t be that beta. You lead a woman in talk as you would in dance, your nimble tongue the strong hand that gently but firmly guides her into new adventures.

Maxim #97: Do not tempt a woman’s withdrawal with conversational topic overkill. You made a funny, now surprise her with something new.

Caveat: The running gag is the exception to the above maxim. Properly executed (that is, delivered with long enough time passed between funny exclamations), the running gag can anchor a girl to your terraphallus. Caution: Easily abused by those lacking comedic timing.

The uniting theme here is the universal female desire for unpredictable men. The man who can’t be pigeonholed, who can’t be readily discerned like the mass of mediocrities she encounters every day, is catnip to her pussy. A simple pull of conversation into an unforeseen direction can mean the difference between boyfriend excuses and helpful reminders that she lives right down the street from you.

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