Date 2 Location Reviews

First dates should almost always be simple affairs over drinks or
tea.  No dinners, no nights out on the town, no extravagant
expenditures.  You want to keep expectations at bay and create a
comfortable zone of unzipped-lipped, nimble-tongued, playful jive.  The
two of you are reading each other like schematics to the bank vault and
external logistics only gets in the way of those lingering looks and
wily wordplay.

Second dates open up to more creative interpretation.   If the first
date has gone well, (but not so well that you closed the deal), the
second date should amp the attraction with a mix of venues and locations
that help build a foundation of shared experiences.  You want to be in
motion with her; give your bodies more room for expression and your
senses more opportunities for stimulation.  With that in mind, here
are my reviews of some common Date 2 locations in DC.

Lincoln Memorial at Night

Cheesy, trite, and very effective.  You don’t have to blow away your
date with originality if the ambience is perfect as is.  And the Lincoln
Memorial, on the steps at midnight under a summer moon, shrouded in the
glow of the reflecting pool, sets an unbeatable mood for encouraging
closeness.  After the early night drinks, surprise her with a car trip
to the Lincoln.  There’s plenty of parking nearby late at night.

Sculpture Garden Ice Skating

Unless your date can do triple sow cows and the Blades of Glory
“crotch scissors”, skating with her means you’ll have plenty of chances
to demonstrate your male protector role by holding her when she stumbles
or letting her grab onto your arm for support as she struggles to find
her balance.  The crowd will always work in your favor; whether the rink
is filled with canoodling couples that enhance the romantic mood
or kids skating recklessly around you that provide an energetic boost
and lots of humorous material, you can’t go wrong here.  In the summer,
there is an outdoor jazz festival at the sculpture garden.  Drinks at
the patio bar are overpriced.

Billiards or Darts

Playing pool with her means lots of good-natured teasing.  Plus, most
girls are not good at pool and will need you to show them how to
properly hold the stick and shoot.  You can only do this from behind. 
That is intimate body contact on the sly.  The best places are small
basement-level pool halls that double as dive bars.  Bedrock Billiards
and Kokopoolis come to mind.  Stay away from auditorium sized pool
halls, as they are too impersonal.  Also, don’t bother with tiny bars
that have only one pool table — what usually winds up happening is that
other guys wait around to play next and you and your date get jostled
all night by drunks trying to navigate the tight spaces between the
table and the walls.  Cautionary note:  If your date is a shark (there
seem to be an inordinate amount of DC girls who know how to shoot stick)
then be sure not to let the ego-bruising show.  Just tell her you let
her win this time.

The Pleasure Palace

If your date is one of those freaky chicks you picked up at DC9, take
her to this sex toy shop on Conn Ave in Dupont.  Pretend to be walking
down the street to a different location when you two just happened upon
this dirty little place and oh, wow, wouldn’t it be cool to see what
kinds of creepy things they sell in here!  Once inside, act like you
never saw this stuff before.  [Examining glow in the dark clit tickler] 
“What the heck is this?  Do you stir pasta with it??”  Don’t loiter,
it’ll start to seem skeevy.  If she was really into it, take her across
the street to the gay Lambda bookstore next to Kramerbooks for a good
laugh.  While browsing the educational material, ask her, “Do lesbians
really do this?”  This will smoke her out as a possible bisexual. 
Tailor your game accordingly.

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