Final Exits: Shitlib Vs Shitlord

After watching this Rammstein video (which PA called the most masculine music video ever produced), I was inspired to write a short list of final exits, sorted by the most common death scenarios for shitlibs and shitlords. Watch the vid first (great song too):

Shitlib final exits:
nursing home staffed by guatemalans
dildo impaction
sofa death, eaten by cats
marathon race collapse

Shitlord final exits:
mountaintop view
coital surrender
surrounded by twenty grandchildren and fifty great-grandchildren
under a personal best squat weight

I welcome commenter contributions to these lists. The ugliest truths are often excavated from the mind shafts of satire that blurs the line between exaggerated humor and unembellished reality.

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