Freeze Frame: Controlling The Conversation

Frame control is the sinew and gristle of inner game. The importance of owning the frame can’t be understated. It’s how the media gets you to believe their angle of the story, it’s how politicians demonize opponents and their constituents, it’s how academic shysters establish the bounds for acceptable debate, and it’s how experienced seducers communicate their higher status and unflappability to women.

A proper definition as it pertains to pickup should help clarify the concept:

A frame is a system of interpretation that an individual or group uses to understand a certain event/situation.

Frame is important in pickup, because it communicates the PUA’s mindset as well as the underlying psychology behind his words and actions. For example, Swinggcat advocates a “prizing” frame, whereby the PUA always assumes the girl is interested in him as the prize. In this frame, a chick can say, “I really like the tie”. The PUA can respond, “Thank you, slow down a little bit. At least buy me a drink before you hit on me like that.”

A funny example of re-framing is when Borat wears his famous swimsuit to the beach, and the reporter comments, “Borat, those trunks seem a little small for you”. Sasha Cohen pauses, and then promptly responds, “Ah… thank you!”. The reporter’s expression to contain a laugh thereafter was priceless.

[…]

“Framing”, [or frame control], in the context of media studies, sociology and psychology, refers to the social construction of a social phenomenon by mass media sources or specific political or social movements or organizations. It is an inevitable process of selective [ed: seductive!] influence over the individual’s perception.

In pickup, as with mass media, there are always certain levels of interpretation of a specific event that can be reframed based on frame control, and your emotions and conviction in your beliefs.

If you are not framing your conversations with women, you are leaving yourself vulnerable to hijacking by her hypergamous mating module. Power abhors a vacuum, and so does an undirected woman free to interpret anything you say in any way she sees fit. Framing a conversation in your favor is taking the initiative; failure to control or at least massage her perception of you exposes you to unfavorable reinterpretations of your attractiveness.

Maxim #45: Any conversation with a woman that is not explicitly framed by you to maximize your perceived status will lead to her forming a negative perception of your value over time.

I’ll give you an example from my own life. I was taking a girl back to my place, a new place I had just moved into. There were boxes and piles of junk everywhere. It looked like a bomb went off. I knew any girl would balk at the mess, and that if I was in any way defensive about it, our vibe would be killed.

When she walked through the door, her expression flashed a hint of disgust. In the living room, she hesitated to take off her coat.

“Is it always like this?”, she asked as she stepped backward a bit.

I wasted no breath explaining myself.

“The door’s right there, if you want to leave,” I said with an expressionless look, while holding out my hand in the direction of the door.

“No, no, I’m not giving you a hard time about it. I was just curious.”

We had sex later on top of a mattress doubling as a bookshelf.

It helped my frame that I was in a pensive mood when she came over. I was in no state of mind to impress a girl, and it showed. Had I explained that I had just moved in and was busy fixing the place up, or made apologies for the mess, she would have had mental room to reassess her attraction for me. Remember, girls don’t operate in a logical universe; they abide their emotions first and foremost. My calm, implicit dismissal of her negative frame and replacement with my own indifferent frame kept her attraction strong.

Here are some more examples of excellent pickup reframes. When girls ask me if I’m a player, I usually get the best responses from them by agreeing and amplifying (“oh yeah, the biggest, I hope you’re OK with harem duties”) or by accusing them of having a history falling for players, which has the benefit of oftentimes being true of girls who like to ask that question (“you’re one of those girls who has a thing for players, aren’t you?”).

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