“How do I get out of the friend zone?”

A reader urgently requested an answer to this post’s heading.

I’m certain Le Chateau has covered this issue before, but the archives are huge and formidable, so I’ll offer an update here.

If you initially tried to ingratiate yourself to a girl you want to fuck by spinning into beta orbiter mode, listening with growing ball pain to her woes about assholes she’s banging, and predictably getting friendzoned as a result, I can assure you that getting OUT of a friend zone and into a lover zone is far more difficult than working from scratch as an unabashed lover prospect. Once a girl has it in her head that you are a harmless castrati, an abrupt shift to incongruent sexiness will jolt her comfortable feelings of safety and security. She’s a good bet to lash out in anger, spite and emotional distancing. If you are a beta at your core, you will then make the situation worse by apologetically backpedaling and begging her to remain friends with you so that you may go home and vigorously masturbate your pimplepeen to the memory of her elbow lightly brushing against your arm when she hastily reached for her cell to take a call from your white whale.

So, my first piece of advice:

Don’t let yourself get into a scenario where friendzoning is possible.

You should be flirting all the time and dropping bits of sexual innuendo. Let a girl know, through subtle cues, that you are a sexual creature right up front. This is what successful players mean by “make your intentions known”. They don’t mean “go up to a chick and tell her you love her body and want to spill your sin all over it”. (Well, sometimes that works.) They mean that you should be innocuously flirting, with plausible deniability, sooner rather than later, so that her subconscious registers you as an alpha male not to be trifled with nor cavalierly tossed into the LJBF discount bin.

If, however, you do find yourself in the friend zone, the way out of it is… drum roll please… scarcity.

Disappear. Vamoose. Deprive her of the happy nonsexual emotional support she’s come to expect from you.

It’s a bit more complicated that that, but that’s the gist of the “LJBF2Lover” program. In detail, it would look like this:

1. Knock her out of her comfort zone with a surprise flirtatious vibe. Don’t overextend this. Too much shock to her system will drive her into a cocoon. You want to give her a small buzz, not an electric storm that immediately activates her anti-beta male, egg-preserving bitch shield.

2. After your flirty expectation sabotage, promptly pull back into beta orbiter mode as if nothing unusual happened. Your goal is to strike a hot iron at the girl’s subconscious without alerting her conscious awake state. If she calls you out on your flirt, act like she’s weird for bringing it up. “I hope you don’t get the wrong idea” is a great line to drop at that moment.

3. Leave her on a good (i.e. congruent) note. But leave her for at least two weeks. During the interim, if your LJBF is strong, she will attempt to contact you asking why, as a friend, you’ve been incommunicado. Again, chastise her for being needy, and tell her you’ve been busy. Do not explain yourself beyond that.

4. Meet her again. Repeat the above three steps, with the exception that you will amp up the intensity and frequency of your sexual, aloof vibe each new time you hang out with her. You are in the process of acclimating her to your new, sexual self.

5. You can speed up the process by actively flirting with other girls in her field of view. Jealousy is the most powerful hacksaw against the chains of the friendzone.

6. When enough time has passed, and your shift from asexual lump to cocky bastard is almost complete, drop the following line on her (with brow deviously furrowed in deep, phony concern): “You’ve been flirting like crazy. I think we should be apart for a while so we don’t risk our friendship.” Wham. Game dynamite with the fuse attached right to her hamster’s anus. You’ve implied she’s falling for you, you’ve disqualified yourself by insisting that you need time away from her, and you’ve flipped the script so that any further interaction would require some amount of chasing by her.

7. If she agrees with you, admit defeat (to yourself) and move on. The LJBF was too powerful to overcome. If you have made an impact on her perception of you, her attitude will be different. She will act confused, half-heartedly agreeing only as a default response with nothing better to say, or disagreeing in mild protest. “Nooo, I’m not flirting with you.” (The very act of verbalizing this will put her in a chaser frame of mind.) Or: “Nooo, we can still be friends.” Either way, insist that you’re right to spend time apart until “the heat cools off”. But if she can “control herself around you”, you might be OK with hanging with her some more.

8. Segue like a diabetic tourist. Forcefully move the conversation away from the drama that just went down. Act like she’s a girl you just met. Gauge for positive reception. If she attempts to pull you back into a friendship frame, the attitude you want to avoid is sounding resentful. She’s testing you for congruency with your new identity. A funny quip like “Oh, man, it’s just not the same anymore. I already miss the old you” should do the trick to pass her test. Again, hit on another girl in front of her. Leave prematurely.

9. At some point you’ll have to make a bold move for her vagina. This is when verbal game stops and physical game revs into high gear. A lot of recovering betas make the mistake of letting the attraction and comfort phase of pickup drag on too long, for fear of losing the good feelings they are engendering in the woman to a sloppy bedroom move. “You’ve never seen this part of my life” is a great line to use on a former LJBF to persuade her to come to your place. It ignites a sense of wonder in her that she will presume is missing with a man she (thinks she) knows very well.

10. Does the above sound like a lot of work? You’re right, it is! Accept the challenge of converting an LJBF for its own sake, but if lay efficiency is your goal, you’d be better off pawning that girl buddy into social circle game with her hot, and relatively unfamiliar, friends.

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