How Soon?

For the men:

How soon after meeting your girlfriend is it OK to fart in front of her?

a. third date
b. two weeks
c. one month
d. one year

How soon after meeting your 20 year old, ballet dancer, former Urban Outfitters model girlfriend is it OK to fart in front of her?

a. one month
b. six months
c. 2 years
d. never. hold your farts in until you die of an intestinal embolism.

How soon after meeting your Rubenesque girlfriend is it OK to fart in front of her?

a. first date
b. five minutes
c. 30 seconds
d. every time she starts to talk, eat, bend over, or undress.

For the ladies:

How soon after meeting your boyfriend is it OK to wear oversized knee-length t-shirts to bed?

a. never
b. never
c. never
d. all the time if you’re featured on FUPA Hunter.

128 thoughts on “How Soon?”

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