Pickup artists practice something called “DHV (demonstrating higher value) spikes”, which means slyly inserting into a conversation with a girl a mention of your time sharing the company of a hot woman in the past (or present). The girl listening to this will subconsciously register you as having high value yourself, and her ‘female preselection’ algorithm will be triggered. (It is a well-known and commonly observed phenomenon that women are more attracted to men whom other women are attracted to. This is because male mate value is more complicated and difficult to assess than female mate value, so women use shortcuts to determine the worth of men; one of those shortcuts women use is to judge a man by how many other women have already found him worthy of love.)
DHVs of course can involve other kinds of status-enhancing subjects, but the reference to other women is typically the most common, and most effective.
Now obviously DHVing is best done through actions (e.g., walking into a club with two girls on your arms) rather than through words, but if you have nothing else readily available, telling a story imbued with DHV spikes is a legitimate game tactic, and one that will succeed if you do it right. But most men fuck it up, because it is so VERY EASY to tell a DHV story that sounds like try-hard bragging rather than incidental self-promotion. The key to successful DHV storytelling lies in the delivery — a story too grandiose or incongruent, or a DHV spike too clumsily invoked, will ping her BS meter, especially if she’s a smart urban yuppie chick. DHVs must sound almost like accidental blurts that get in the way of your story goals. The object of the game is like advertising; you want to subliminally embed your value in her brain, and you don’t do that by screaming how great your product is from the rooftop.
On that note, what is the best way to verbally demonstrate your prowess with women without sounding like an approval-seeking beta? Two commenters provide their experiences.
I’ve found that telling women that I date dancers is a big DHV. Often there’s some confusion around what being a ‘dancer’ is. And often a lot of overlap in dance styles.
Case in point: One girl I’ve been seeing recently is a modern dancer as well as a burlesque dancer. Burlesque dancers are about 2″ of fabric away from being strippers–they wear pasties over their nipples. They often have a lot more sultry sexuality built into their acts as well. Whereas strippers can be sexy, but are often just trashy.
Another girl, same deal–modern, burlesque, in addition to having a past history as a stripper. In general, I’ve noticed very positive reactions when casually mentioning this dating history when the subject comes up. Though those girls who see themselves as ‘good girls,’ will often get simultaneously aroused and fearful. Also, a quick mention is all it takes, mention it then change the subject, don’t belabor the point. Let that hamster run!
Mystery was consistently referring to dating strippers when he wanted to display preselection and high value.
I never used the routine because I’m a little bit dubious. The current feminist propaganda made cases of chronic projection very widespread. As repeatedly said in this venerable chateau, women are attracted to confident, successful men, so they assume that men want (and should be attracted to) the same qualities in women.
So why then miss that opportunity and keep referring to trashy strippers instead of lawyers (i know, i know…), doctors or CEOs?
I tend to do just that and It works fine. The key of course (especially with low achieving chicks) is not to make it sound like a big deal. And feign during comfort building that you’re interested in something more meaningful and profound.
Maybe, I’m KJing here but making shit up about dating strippers would be a good strategy to game lawyers, doctors and CEOs.
Or maybe, just maybe, Mystery is indirectly assuming that women are projecting to strippers the alpha male qualities that they crave (desired by many, only one is chosen)… even though strippers are viewed by men as filthy cumdumpsters.
Gosh, there is some serious reeducation work that needs to be done. Keep preaching, brother.
It’s a good question: Is it better to advertise your preselection by referring to your time with strippers, dancers and models (the kinds of women who are the classic archetypes of the hot n’ sexy good-to-go chicks willing to please a man) or by referring to your time spent with educated, socially accomplished girls like lawyers, doctors and grad students?
To answer the question we need to recall what it is that women truly find arousing in men, and this requires a return to fundamentals in sex differences. I’ll focus on Matador’s objection to DHV stripper stories as evidence of male psychological projection. Does a DHV reference to a stripper indicate that a man is projecting his own desire for female looks and sexual receptivity onto the desires of the woman he is trying to impress?
Well, no, not very much at any rate. Projection is a real human cognitive bias, but it has limits in its applicability. A man projecting his sexual desire onto women would fuss over his OWN looks, because he assumes that women are as entranced by male looks as men are by women’s looks. There is NO projection in a man telling a story that references good-looking women because his sexual desire is not being projected back onto HIMSELF.
For example, women project their desire for high status men by sometimes assuming men are turned on by high status, educated women, when the truth couldn’t be more different, but when push comes to shove, women still BEHAVE as if they know, on some deep primitive level, that men are aroused by looks before all else. This is why we see even educated (aka brainwashed) women continuing the age-old practices of wearing makeup and dressing provocatively and desperately trying to reverse the tick of the clock. They can assert in Jizzabel columns all they want that “real men” prefer educated plain janes to hot bimbos, but their actions belie their words.
The reason stripper DHVs work on nearly all women to a greater or lesser degree is because, contrary to the erroneous belief that women wouldn’t be impressed by what men are impressed by, a stripper is REAL WORLD evidence that the man who dated her has preselection value, i.e. reproductive fitness. Strippers are perceived, (whether the perception is valid is irrelevant), as hot girls who are out of reach of the average man. A man who has fucked a stripper must therefore bring something very special to the table; namely, his irresistibility.
Would a lawyercunt be turned off by a man who admits to having dated strippers? Class issues do occasionally intrude. An upper class lawyerchick might think a man who dates strippers embodies class distinctions too great to bridge. The allure of a man who can get a bitchy hot stripper might be outweighed by her devaluing of the same man as someone who mingles with the wrong crowd.
I think this objection is overblown, but it is real.
One school of thought says that you want to DHV using the kinds of women and/or subject matter that presupposes familiarity with your target’s social milieu and personal life experiences. So if you are picking up a stripper, it helps to let her know (through allusion) that you have experience dating strippers. If you are hitting on a lawyer, the same theory applies. Let her know you have dated other lawyers. Women like to feel that the men they date are on or above (but not too far above) their level.
Another school of thought claims just the opposite: that you want to DHV a stripper with stories about dating lawyers, and vice versa. This thinking rests on Matador’s hypothesis that projecting what women like or respect back onto them is better game than hitting their preselection buttons for men who attract the attentions of hot women. A stripper will deem a lawyerchick to be well above her in social status (if not necessarily looks status) and will therefore be inclined to view a man who has dated lawyers more favorably than a man who has dated socially lower classes of women. Conversely, a lawyerchick will be more sexually attuned to a man who has claimed prowess with conventionally hot girls like strippers than with stick-in-the-mud lesbian-faced lawyers like the kind she probably sees every day at the firm.
So, do you DHV with strippers or lawyers? My glib answer: neither. Or both. You don’t need to choose. You can cover both bases. I’ll give an example of what I’m talking about with a DHV spike within stories I have told many times in my life to smart and sassy SWPL chicks.
TheStudULuv: [Preceding convo eliminated for brevity] Everyone in this town dates a degree. I swear, you talk to guys around here and they think the number of letters after their name makes them interesting people.
Girl: God I know. I can’t tell you how many boring MBAs I’ve met. Philosophy grads are kinda interesting though.
TheStudULuv: True. That’s because they’re crazy. Maybe it’s all relative. I broke my rule to not date lawyers with my last girlfriend, and I’m glad I did, because she was a welcome relief after the stripper.
Girl: [pauses to digest the news] That’s quite a contrast.
TheStudULuv: [Frowning and looking down at my drink] Sometimes the stereotypes are true. I shoulda listened to my mother.
I changed the subject quickly after that. The seed of intrigue had been planted. There is no need to hammer home a DHV. Just sit back and let it do its work.
But that’s not the best DHV spike at your disposal. No, I’ve discovered something even more powerful than devious insinuations involving strippers and lawyers — the YOUNGER WOMAN. If you seduce women in the mid-20s to mid-30s age range, a subtle implication of having enjoyed the company of younger women will send their hamsters into an epileptic seizure. Framing it similar to the convo above, like it’s something you are almost ashamed of, is all the plausible happenstance you need.
YOU: Dating younger women is not all it’s assumed to be. They get a little too possessive for my taste.
I’ve used this line verbatim on girls when the conversational direction allowed it, and it has never backfired in an obvious way. While it’s hard to judge the effectiveness of DHV spikes (because most of their power works on the girl’s subconscious thought processes, which remain hidden from you until they are revealed in her body language or IOIs), I have observed the nearly imperceptible widening of eyes that occurs when girls hear this from me. It is AWESOMELY powerful catnip to late 20s career women. Some girls will even ask just how young my ex was, because they are beginning to presume my unattainability and want reassurances that they aren’t too old for me.
As the commenters above mentioned, DHV spikes like these should be delivered as if they were afterthoughts. It helps to act a little bit embarrassed about your DHV as well. These are all master class techniques that neutralize the chance your target will interpret your DHV as a painfully value-lowering brag, and proficiency with them will only come from practice and continual feedback.