Leaving Her Better Than You Found Her? Not Likely

It’s a common admonition from pickup artists that you should leave a girl better than you found her. I suppose mainstream PUAs (well, as mainstream as PUA gurus can get) say this to soften the perception that game is horribly cynical and manipulative. While they are right to claim that game is a blessing to women in much the same way that women exercising to stay sexy and slender is a blessing to men, they are veering into hyperbole to suggest that leaving a girl after you have gamed her into however many nights of sweaty sex is going to make her a better person.

Let’s examine the suppositions behind this smooth but empty incantation. Assume the average pickup artist meets a girl he likes and they date (read: screw) for a few months. Because he is a guy who knows game, she really digs him. At this three-month critical juncture, he has a few options before him: he can choose to stick it out for longer in monogamous isolation chamber hell bliss, he can lie about seeing other girls, he can somehow convince her to be part of his harem, or he can dump her to chase fresh tail. That last choice is what we’re interested in. What would be the reasons a man would leave a girl he is banging?

– he found a hotter girl
– the full extent of her horrid personality came to light
– she gained weight or suffered facial disfigurement from an accident or attack (hey, it’s a cruel world)
– he is bursting with ball juice and can’t go more than three months without sampling new pussy
– a hotter ex came back into his life
– he cheated and decided leaving her was preferable to staying with her in penance prison, offering his manly dignity as sacrificial lamb
– he just got plain tired of banging her and needed his single life back
– he moved far away, or she moved far away
– she started pressing him to move the relationship forward
– he caught her cheating

There are, I’m sure, other reasons why a man would leave a chick, but I think I’ve hit upon the most common ones. Now ask yourself this simple question: under any of the above dumping scenarios where the man has dumped a girl who really liked him (excluding the scenario where he caught her cheating), do you honestly believe the girl is going to feel better about herself afterwards? Happier? More content with life? Filled with joy and whimsy? Will she be a BETTER PERSON, whatever the fuck that means?

The answer is contained in the absurdity of the question. Of course, she won’t be happy. I doubt she’ll be much of a better person, either. Most girls who have torrid flings with alphas might learn what kind of player warning signs to watch for, but their hearts will ache for one more of his touches, and they won’t be able to bond very well with any future men who don’t rise to the standards set by her alpha ex.

When women get dumped by men they love, they get hurt. Ask any woman recently dumped by an alpha boyfriend, and you will most assuredly not hear a melodious note of happiness in her voice. What you will hear is pain, sorrow, regret, an inability to focus on anything, and even a sense of guilt (“I nagged him too much!”). There will be tears, anger and spite. What there won’t be is some Anthony Robbins-like revelation of self improvement.

So, no, gaming a girl and bringing much joy, sexual pleasure and emotional fulfillment into her life won’t carry over into making her happier or a better person once you remove that source of joy by dumping her. You can tell yourself that the fond memories you gave her will put a bounce in her step and help her realize how fortunate she was to have spent some time with an alpha male, but in reality those memories will be like stones dangling from heavy chains tied to her soul. They will haunt her for years, even into the bed of whatever future beta she marries.

Don’t believe me? Exhibit A. Meaty Monica won the fat chick lottery and got to chomp on Bill’s super alpha stogie, and to this day, aging and fatter than ever, she can’t get let go of him. Whatever lackluster beta she was suited for in the years to follow couldn’t compare to Bill, and so her fond memories have shackled her to a miserable life of sadness and loneliness. There is no escape for the woman whose sexual market value was temporarily artificially inflated by an alpha male on the hunt for a convenient hole.

When women get dumped, they do not become better people or happier people. In 99% of male-initiated dumpings (granted, this number will always be less than the number of women dumping men, owing to the mechanism of female hypergamy), the woman reacts primarily in one of two ways.

1. She broods and licks her wounds, unleashing her sorrow on girl friends and family. In extreme cases, she will retreat to a corner in her bedroom and gaze at the wall for a few days, sustaining herself on bits of orange and water. Her cat’s fur will become soaked and matted with her tears.

2. She lashes out bitterly with rage and spite. These types aren’t as common as type #1, and that’s a good thing, for they can be a nuisance at best and a criminal threat at worst. Type 2s, slave to their uncontrollable pain and anger, will attempt to poison the well of whatever friendships or associations you shared. She will, in varying degrees, stalk you, harass you, slander you and generally try to make it difficult for you to get her out of your life without a restraining order.

This, aspiring PUAs, is what is known as leaving a woman WORSE than you found her. A more accurate description than the la-dee-da twaddle I’ve seen peddled by some otherwise sensible pickup artists.

Women suffer the hardship of breakups worse than alpha males, (though probably not any worse, and more likely better, than beta males, who are truly knee deep in the shit when they are suddenly left without a partner). An alpha male knows his prospects are virtually limitless and his time horizon longer than any woman’s. A breakup he initiates is a renewed license of freedom and sexual escapade. Even a breakup he doesn’t initiate has little impact on his life; he’ll feel bad for five minutes and fix himself right by hitting the bar that night for new numbers.

Women, in contrast, have a smaller fertility window than men, (which is just a proxy for a beauty window), and they know that each failed relationship exacts a bigger toll on their marketability and their psyches than it does on any man’s. A breakup after two years with an alpha male can leave a woman in an emotional shambles, and her real life prospects noticeably dimmed, because her dating and marriage value begins depreciating right after her early 20s, and speeding up to terminal velocity by her mid 30s. Conversely, a man’s dating and marriage value RISES right up until his 40s, give or take five years, and can conceivably continue rising well into late middle age if he has compensating attractive traits for his physical decline. Women have no such option.

It would be wise for you Don Juans to remember that, the next time you rationalize that your leaving her will actually make her a better person. There is no spinning away the ugly reality with a sappy cliche. Better to embrace your wicked choice and feast on the brutality of it all. Makes for a more invigorating life.

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