Love And Ballast

Fred Reed, honorary poolside guest, on marriage and kids:

Nobody goes into marriage expecting divorce, but it comes very frequently, and she really does get the house and the children. In divorces, men lose. […]

The sensible conclusion is that you are better off single, building a career or whatever you want in life, and dating such flowers as drift by. […]

Add five or ten years, ten or twenty pounds, and the lack of any reason to continue being charming—and you are going to spend the rest of your life with it. Too many men marry the package, and only discover the content when it is too late. […]

Live with her if you must, but don’t marry her. A woman cohabiting has at least some incentive to be agreeable. A married woman does not. […]

It is said that marriage rests on compromises, but in fact it rests on concessions, and you will make all of them. […]

Children, which she will persuade you that you want, on thought you probably don’t want. They are an ungodly burden until they reach adolescence, at which point they become ungodly monsters, before leaving for university and becoming ungodly expenses.

Marriage: The triumph of hope over reason. Maybe the Swedes have this one thing right: Don’t marry, just cohabit, if you like the monotonousogamous lifestyle of one woman, together under one roof, for years and years, as sprog nip at your heels and resignation slowly substitutes for happiness.

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