Older Man Game: Direct Or Indirect?

Younger man game gets plenty of attention and analysis, but in comparison older man game seems to get the short shrift. The principles of pickup are fairly universal — female hypergamy operates on all men, of all age groups — but some of the tactical details will change if your age is significantly younger or older than the woman you are seducing. With that in mind, here’s a comment pulled from the Nick Hoss PUA website:

Another time to possibly go indirect: when you’re significantly older. A direct opener would force her to make a snap judgement, while indirect may give you time to demonstrate high value.

In theory, this sounds right. Direct game does theoretically corner women into making reflexive snap judgments. If you come on strong, a woman is not going to have the chance to enjoy the feeling of flirtation building to an anticipated denouement. She will revert to her default female filtering algorithm which activates at a much lower threshold if all she has to go on are your approach mechanics and plainly visible SMV irregularities such as might be apparent in a large age discrepancy. (Most older men, out of cowardice or lack of compensating attributes, do not hit on significantly younger women, which conditions younger women into expecting older men to comport themselves like bland, asexual lumps. The inverse is also true — it’s rare for, say, 18 year old men to hit on 28 year old women, and for similar reasons.)

But it can be argued, theoretically as well, that older men using indirect game on younger women feeds into women’s expectations of harmless avuncular daddy figures chatting them up with nary a sexual thought in their minds. In other words, if you are an older man hitting on a much younger woman, you have to be more careful about the danger of indirect game spiraling into breezy, chit chatty pointlessness. You’ll know you’ve failed when you swerve into more sexually tinged banter and she acts surprised and indignant.

So again we come to a pro and con list for direct vs indirect game that applies equally to older men as to younger men. Direct game circumvents the risk of LJBF prejudice, at the potential cost of activating insta-screens in women. Indirect game allows for cunning guidance of women’s emotions, at the potential cost of misjudged intentions.

Enough of theory. What about applied seduction? In reality, women make snap judgments before you even open your mouth. Your body language can be alpha or beta, and women subconsciously pick up those nonverbal signals of your mate quality. If you are significantly older or younger than your prey, your body language cannot, in any way, exude defeatism. Both the younger man hitting on an older woman and the older man hitting on the younger woman must seem in control of their worlds. Large age differences amplify the need for compensating attractiveness cues.

My gut feeling is that indirect game, as a contributing variable in approach-lay ratio, is the better choice overall for the typical scenarios involving older men and much younger women (10+ years younger). By typical scenarios, I mean non-nightclub environments. Women — especially prime age women in the 18-24 year old bracket — possess very strong preconceived notions about how older men will act around them. A direct, choose or lose, style of approach may violate their preconceptions so thoroughly that they respond by shutting down.

But that is just gut feeling. Any of you older men or pickup pros who have experience hitting on significantly younger women using direct and/or indirect game are encouraged to leave your opinions in the comments section. Award-winning comments will be highlighted in a future post.

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