Reader Mailbag: Emailer Gives An Update About Girlfriend Drama

The first subject reader from last week’s Reader Mailbag has responded with an update about his situation involving his Asian girlfriend and her doctor colleague she said was hitting on her. All three were going to be in attendance at an upcoming party, and the potential for some kind of confrontation was high.

Hi guys,

I’m #1, the guy dating the Asian chick who wrote to the Chateau. Thanks to the proprietors and the readers for their help, was most useful.

So Friday night was interesting, when we show up this other guy’s there, I split from my girl to say hi to some friends and see him make a beeline for her, at which point she promptly turns her back on him, one of her other friends (an acquaintance of mine) intervenes and appears to tell him to back off. She heads straight back to me and complains about the ‘creep from work’ hitting on her again.

At this point I’m nigh on certain that she’s not attracted to him, and a little later I introduce myself to this suitor and assertively ask “if hitting on taken women is part of his Hippocratic Oath” (credit to the Chateau). [ed: *preen*] Within seconds it becomes clear why my lover finds this man repulsive – as soon as I corner him and speak these words, he wilts. His body language reeks of intimidation and he stammers out apologies before giving me, my lover and our friends a wide berth for the rest of the night. Just goes to show that even if a man has looks and professional success, he needs the alpha male attitude to go with them.

Later that night she whispers “thanks for taking care of that creep, I heard you scared the shit out of him.” One weekend of rampant sex, home-cooked meals and all round adoration later and seems she’s wrapped around my finger more tightly than ever.

My interpretation of why she disclosed his advances to me: partially to make me jealous and an indirect request for my intervention. Regarding the confusion about blue collar/white collar terminology – I’m from the UK and unfamiliar with this Americanism, ‘white collar’ would be a better description of my profession.

P.S. When I first started reading this blog I thought so much of it was utter bullshit, nevertheless thought I’d might as well try and it and absolutely everything works. Case in point, flirting with a few other girls at this party who I know are into me, one year ago I thought this would make anyone I was dating pissed, uh uh, all the competition seems to do is produce gina tingles. Fuck having wasted 25 years as a blue piller, god bless the day I swallowed the red pill.
-Alex.

Well played, sir, and may the god of biomechanics be ever at your side, (or at least until your reproductive career is over).

It sounds from your update that your girlfriend was following CH reasons #1 and #2. She wanted a touch of drama by inciting jealousy, and a touch of reassurance by inciting signals of commitment from you, usually in the form of a “let’s you and him fight” white knight-ish intervention between her and her illicit pursuer, if necessary.

Those interventions can be tricky; they are high risk, high reward opportunities, and if done properly will cause ginas to explode in a meteor shower of tingles. But if executed poorly, a woman’s admiration will quickly turn to disappointment, even disgust.

The white knight reflex is often misdeployed by toolbags, but it is occasionally called for; one occasion is when your girlfriend is being aggressively pursued by another man who knows she is taken, and has the gall to pursue her in your presence. So I’d say you were justified in confronting the doctor. Once you have probable cause, the next hurdle is to intervene in a cool-headed way. Save the raging chimpouts for the meatheads guarding their tramp stamped whorems. No chick with even a modicum of classy femininity will appreciate a chimpout at some SWPL soiree. If you overreact, you tool yourself. Jealous overreaction is as much a tell of neediness and insecurity as is retiring self-defeatism.

Your handling of the doctor was perfect. I told you most of them are pussies and a pinpoint jab is all you’d need to cut him at the knees.

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