Sext Game

Ready to analyze some text game for make benefit of your glorious alpha training? This sample of the genre is a little different, though. It’s sexting game, a subcategory of generic text game. Commenter walawala writes:

Here is a transcript of text game I was running on a Taiwanese girl I met on a flight to hin where she lives. My game was tight and I number closed. She dropped the I have a bf. I ignored. Then I began text game ahead of an upcoming trip back to her city…

I’ll pick it up where it’s relevant

Her: You’re such a player

Me: You bet. and what is it abt players u like so much?

Her: I don’t conclude that I like players, do I?

Me: Player? No way. I’m the coach. Players come to me for advice

Her: The I’m not a player…it’s you that come to me

Her: No offense…….

Me: Guilty as charged

Her: Ha ha

Me: I may need to spank you if yuou dun behave

Her: Now you are sexually harrassing me, uncle

Me: hmmm, interesting where ur mind is…

Me: What is it about spanking u that u find sexual?

Her: Any physical contacts that I find uncomfortable

Me: My spanking woud make u feel…

Her: Feel what?

Me: Do you like the sound of it?

Her: Now I’m pondering if you are the SM type…and pondering where ur mind is

Me: Many girls like a dominant man who knows to to lead…how about you?

Her: And spare your efforts on gett me hooked. Go find other Asian girls…exclusing me to satisfy your masculine needs

Me: WHo said I was interested in hooking you? Big ego

Her: Don’t know,,,just my bold assumption

Me: …

Her: Assumption comes before conclusion right?

Me: I find most girls like a dominat guy

Her: hmmmm maybe

Me: That’s why their favorite position is doggie style. Maybe ur different

Her: …..hmmm maybe i can try it with my boyfriend…thank you for your advice

Ends

Next morning she texts me:

Her: Found a new term for you….”sexpat”

Me: I prefer ‘sexpert’

She babbled on a bit more and I stopped. I’m set to come back to her city in a few weeks and will contact her.

She’s clearly a drama queen and loves the attention. Despite claiming to have a boyfriend she is lapping up my text game….

Text game for self-centred girls is cat nip….

My first reaction to reading this was… lots of smoke, but where’s the fire? Or, concept was good, but execution lagged. It struck me as a pastiche of good text game techniques stitched together haphazardly.

She doesn’t sound like she’s biting. Her flirting, if it can be called that, is cold and accusatory. She clearly bristled at the insinuation, intended or not, that Asian girls are naturally submissive. Now maybe Asian girls demonstrate their growing interest differently than white girls do, (a distinct possibility, as I have written before that very broad, but shallow, racial differences in receptiveness to game may exist), in which case my constructive criticism of this text exchange would be off-base. I’d like to know what happened between walawala and this girl since this text convo took place. What were the text convos like in the following days/weeks? Did he unlock difficulty level bang?

We’ll break down my initial impression, line by line.

Her: You’re such a player

Me: You bet. and what is it abt players u like so much?

He’s avoiding defensiveness, assuming the sale and eliciting her values. Three core game concepts. The question is whether it was too early in the interaction to do this. You can spook a girl with loaded sexualized questions if you ask them before her interest has been piqued.

Her: I don’t conclude that I like players, do I?

Me: Player? No way. I’m the coach. Players come to me for advice

Maybe this reply is good, but the fact remains he’s playing into her frame. She’s been leading this conversation so far. Plus, he’s backpedaled here, even if it was done in a cocky way. The DHV is too obvious.

Her: The I’m not a player…it’s you that come to me

Her: No offense…….

Me: Guilty as charged

The ‘guilty as charged’ line worked here, but in this exchange it falls flat. I want you pickup experts in the studio audience to explain why. The difference in context is your first clue.

Me: I may need to spank you if yuou dun behave

Her: Now you are sexually harrassing me, uncle

Sexual innuendo in text can backfire if attraction hasn’t been built, or rapport is weak. Sometimes a girl will shut down. Often, when she’s open to playful flirting, you can get caught in an endless loop of innuendo that eventually crumbles under its own weight. In this instance, she seems up for flirting, so no harm no foul.

Me: hmmm, interesting where ur mind is…

A good line. Puts her in chaser mode.

Me: What is it about spanking u that u find sexual?

But the reframe is subverted by returning to this arid sexual well. I think it would have been better to play a little more hard-to-get, than to continue pressing her for info about her sexual proclivities. Particularly since this is over text and, as far as I know, very little physical contact has happened yet.

Her: Any physical contacts that I find uncomfortable

This is not a playful response. Now he has a clue that continuing to pursue this dirty talk avenue will be less than fruitful.

Her: Now I’m pondering if you are the SM type…and pondering where ur mind is

Woops. There goes that initial great reframe by walawala. It’s just been turned around again. She is very good (read: very Asian) at retaining control of courtship hand.

Me: Many girls like a dominant man who knows to to lead…how about you?

Girls do like dominant men. But they don’t like being told aloud that they like dominant men. I’ve never really found it all that useful to remind girls of the inner workings of their hamsters in the course of a pickup attempt. Still, sociosexual themes can act as a good springboard for getting girls to open up about their values.

Her: And spare your efforts on gett me hooked. Go find other Asian girls…exclusing me to satisfy your masculine needs

Here’s that part where her ‘yellow fever’ alert just triggered. She’s pigeonholing walawala, and I don’t see him effectively countering it.

Me: WHo said I was interested in hooking you? Big ego

The problem with this second reframe attempt is that it flies in the face of textual evidence suggesting the contrary. Thus, the impression is one of defensiveness rather than amused correction.

Her: Assumption comes before conclusion right?

The fact that she’s asking a question, however obtuse, is proof that she’s still invested in this convo and wants to see where it leads.

Me: I find most girls like a dominat guy

Beating a dead horse.

Her: hmmmm maybe

She just got bored.

Me: That’s why their favorite position is doggie style. Maybe ur different

Her: …..hmmm maybe i can try it with my boyfriend…thank you for your advice

This is the second IHAB she unloaded on walawala. Not a good sign. The sexual tone he took, in my opinion, was premature, and probably contributed to shutting her down, which is evident in her terse “thank you for your advice” send-off. Talking about doggie style over text with a girl you number closed on a plane a while back (how long ago?) is precipitously close to entering cloying, horny beta territory.

The next morning, the text exchange resumes:

Her: Found a new term for you….”sexpat”

This is good news. She reinitiated contact, so that means she’s been thinking about him all night. The substance of her text is irrelevant.

Me: I prefer ‘sexpert’

Meh. Again with the self-boosting sexual innuendo. Too much sex talk, especially the boastful variety, can make a man just as dull as the beta who drones on about work and weather, especially if she’s gotten used to it and now finds it predictable. Better quickie reply: “i’m still dancing thru ur thoughts… that’s cute.”

***

Overall, I give this text pickup attempt a B-. Walawala is a valued contributor to the Chateau, and he has offered up some good stuff over the months. This one, however, misses the mark. First, it’s too long. Text exchanges that go on and on eventually shift the balance of power in the woman’s favor. That is the nature of verbal foreplay that must abide certain technological constraints. Women are vessels of words, men are warriors of action. This may not be as relevant today, as it looks like everyone and his grandma texts all the time, but it’s still something to keep in mind.

Second, the lean on loaded sexual allusions was overwrought, and possibly premature (barring additional information about context). That kind of flirty sexy vibe works better face-to-face, where wry expressions can alleviate or accentuate the tension. Over text, it risks being perceived as overly persistent, or even creepy.

I don’t mean to sound harsh. Walawala has still done better than most betas would do in the same circumstance. Any shortcomings evident in this text exchange are more pro-game problems than anti-game issues. I concede that my judgment could be unfair, but I don’t have enough prior context to conclude otherwise. Perhaps I’m reading her replies in the worst light, and she was way more into it than it seems here on this blog. My assumption is that this pickup attempt is far from a given, but walawala is free to elaborate.

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