The Depedestalization Shall Continue Until Morale Improves

AshleyMadison.com, the dating cheating website for married people, had the second-largest number of sign-ups on the day after Mother’s Day this year.

Momlogic has exclusively learned that 31,427 women signed up for AshleyMadison.com yesterday — which is over ten times the average number of women who typically sign up on any given Monday.

What are AshleyMadison’s first and third biggest recruitment days? If you guessed the days after Valentine’s Day and New Year’s Day respectively, you get a gold cocka.

This “day after” trend is nothing new to AshleyMadison.com: Their biggest day of the year for female signups is the day after Valentine’s Day, and their third-biggest day is the day after New Year’s.

Why are holidays like these such turning points for women? Noel Biderman, president and founder of AshleyMadison.com, says, “Because they have expectations — expectations that their partnership will be celebrated and even romanticized — but that is often not what transpires ….”.

Expectation is just low rent entitlement. Hey, men have expectations too!

Men expect –

Sex on demand. And in various contortionist positions.

A variety of vagina. The same old, same old ain’t cutting it.

A home-cooked, low carb and natural ingredient dinner ready for us when we get home.

Women to chill out about keeping the house squeaky clean all the time. A pile of socks isn’t gonna kill ya.

Lots of gifts, like TVs, golf clubs, and tube amps. Using your own money.

Women to grasp that romance suffers when it needs to be “celebrated” on phony pre-arranged, corporate-sponsored days of the year.

Welly well! The expectations game goes both ways. Of course, some of us can realize our expectations simply by avoiding those things which are most likely to leave them unfulfilled. Like, oh say, marriage and kids.

I wonder what expectations went umnet for cheating women post-Valentines’s Day and New Year’s? The rose stems too short? The hubby too beta? The midnight kiss shockingly askew, careening to the right of center lip?

Biderman (a married father of two) believes there are several reasons why women turn to AshleyMadison.com after Mother’s Day in particular:

– On Mother’s Day, women in general expect to be celebrated by their partners. However, for many already suffering from a lack of appreciation, this day represents a continuation of neglect and disappointment.

– Women have affairs for different reasons than men. Whereas men are usually looking for sex, women tend to seek attention that they’re not getting at home. This lack of attention often makes them feel undesirable — and feeds their need for validation. [Editor: Corollary: Men have affairs for different reasons than women. Whereas women are usually looking for emotional connection, men tend to seek the sex that they’re not getting at home. This lack of sex often makes them feel undesirable — and feeds their need for validation.]

Men should start coordinating their cheating after Father’s Day. That way, in case they are caught, they can tell their wives that their infidelity represented a culmination of neglect and disappointment and a lack of appreciation they felt on Father’s Day. And it’d be more true, because as far as I can tell Mother’s Day enjoys a lot more cultural significance than Father’s Day.

Last Mother’s Day, momlogic spoke with a woman who said that Mother’s Day ended her marriage. “I knew Mother’s Day was off to a bad start when my husband informed me the night before that the holiday had nothing to do with him and it should be between me and the kids. [Editor: Your husband was right.] In the morning, I was handed a cold cup of coffee by my husband. My card and gift were left downstairs. The card and gift had been bought hours earlier, after my husband asked me, “So, what do you want, anyway?” No thought, no advance planning, no special effort put forth at all. It was so disappointing. I chose to sleep on the couch that night. My husband chose to move out. Mother’s Day essentially marked the end of our marriage.”

So there you go, honored American father. Your wife and mother of your children is now justified in spreading her legs for strange cock because you gave her a cold cup of coffee in the morning and didn’t hand deliver the gifts to her as she lounged in bed.

Modern American married women — the most entitled, self-absorbed, selfish, egotistical collection of cunty harridans the world has ever known. Blessedly, I’ve learned one way to avoid the worst attitudes and character faults of American women: don’t marry them. Unmarried sexual relationships where the satisfaction of receiving the preciiiiiious ring of power is continually postponed do a pretty good job of deterring women’s most unwelcome compulsions.

Enough already with the holidays for wives and mothers. It’s time for real holidays for men. I propose a Patriarchy Day, sometime in August would be great. On that day, mom blogs, celebrity blogs, feminist blogs… in fact, the whole fucking internet… shuts their pie hole. In the sweet silence, only the gentle slurping sounds of hummers will be heard.

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