The Most Beta Book Ever

Reader Mike sent me a media release for a book signing by a guy named James Henry (a name like that screams old-fashioned white knighter), who authored a book titled “The Laws of Love: A Guide to Gallantry“. Here is an excerpt of the release:

AS COURTSHIP DECLINES, CONCERN FOR CHIVALRY IS ON THE RISE

A New Book The Laws of Love: A Guide to Gallantry, Helps Induce Gallantry.

Book Launch and Signing:  Wednesday February 10th & Sunday, February 14th 2010

[Washington, DC] – In a time when courtship is on the decline and hedonism is on the rise, one gentleman has stood up against the tide with the power of words and seductive suggestion. Washington, DC native James Henry, an author galvanized by the decline of chivalry, announces the release of his new book, The Laws of Love: The Guide to Gallantry,with a reception and book signing on Wednesday, February 10th at ACKC chocolate shop and Saturday and Sunday of Valentine’s weekend (February 13th & 14th) at the newly opened The Tasting Room wine bars in Reston, VA and Friendship Heights.

A contemporary manual, inspired by a 19th century French love guide, gives gallant advice on the art of courtship for today’s love-starved society.

“These days with the instant nature of news and information, few people make the time to read anything in depth, so I felt that good messages could be better conveyed with fun illustrations and humorous maxims.” Consider them “inspiration to greatness” describes Henry.

Next Wednesday, February 10th, in the lead up to Valentine’s Day, Henry will officially release his new publication with a book signing at ACKC, a chocolate shop and café in Logan Circle, Washington, DC. [ed: a chocolate shop and cafe sounds like the perfect venue for a book this emasculating.]

Now I wonder why a 19th century French love guide would recommend chivalry for men? I’m trying to think about how 19th century France differed from 21st century America, but I just can’t quite put my finger on it. It’s a mystery!

I’m not an anti-chivalry crusader. If you want to be Gallant to the world’s Goofuses, go right ahead. You’ll be digging your own celibacy grave, but that’s one less competitor to me. If you live in some weird time warp American town where gallantry will help get you laid with hot babes, then be all the white knight you can be. Game is about doing what works.

But you’ll be working against the odds. Millions of men from all over the world have reached the conclusion through actual experience in the field that opening doors, throwing jackets over puddles, waiting to sit until she’s been seated first, and buying her drinks are tingle killers of the first order. Gallant doesn’t go home with the babe in 2010 America; Gallant watches perplexed as the babe thanks him for the free drink and then make outs with Gus the Inconsiderate Douchebag.

I have a hard time believing that this guy James Henry is a native of DC and still thinks gallantry is what will help men score with DC girls. Either he’s lying for fun and profit, or he’s gay.

About the only reason I could recommend chivalry as a course of action for the typical man would be if we lived in a world where nearly all men stopped indulging women, and white knighters abandoned their lances for a more cynical, self-centered calculation. With chivalry long dead, a lone knight-errant could conceivably stride onto the scene and turn girls’ heads by doing something no other man is doing. In such a scenario, where women theoretically craved the chivalric attentions of men, buying a girl a free drink might actually be good game. But I really don’t see any evidence for this happening at all in our lifetimes. Chivalry is pretty much dead as it is, and girls are still responding positively to “I don’t buy girls drinks, but you can buy me one.”

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