Tomboys Vs Girly-Girls

I once dated a girl who was a professed hardcore tomboy in her youth. She played team sports where she excelled and hurt opponents with her jabbing elbows of competitive zeal. She had very little fashion sense and needed the assistance of her girlier friends (men and women) when shopping, which is an activity she hated. She loved sex and had the libido of a man.

She was not a lesbian, nor did she have lesbianic tendencies, a presumption you would be forgiven for having since it is true that there is some correlation between tomboyishness and dykery.

It’s unremarkable to point out that it is in the nature of women to dress up. They make themselves shiny not only to attract the eye of a quality man but to compete with other women in their social milieu. It is an oft heard truism that when a couple walks into a room the women will check out the girl first before giving the guy a look. A woman lavishly dresses up in context-appropriate ways not just to impress other women but to frighten them into giving up and going home so that she may absorb all the male attention like the sole whore in a brothel in the middle of the desert. As women’s fashion is spiked armor adorned with the heads of female foes, make-up is war paint for chicks.

Tomboys don’t participate in this fashion arms race, and their refusal to conform to the gender norm means they do not get along with the girly-girls, for the most part. You will rarely see tomboys and tinseltarts enjoying each other’s company, unless it is in a mating venue where the tomboys opportunistically leech off of the male attention that girly-girls naturally soak up. You’ll sometimes hear a tomboy claim to have a princess for a best friend, when in reality she only hangs out with her on clubbing nights, or at the mall for shopping advice.

Tomboys can be charmingly naive in their forwardness with men, and their total lack of guile. But the dirty secret is that most men actually like it when a woman is a little bit coy with them. Coyness inspires pursuit.

Tomboys much prefer the company of men for friends. Men, in turn, like tomboys for their friendliness, approachability, common interests and ease of sexual access, but tomboys rarely arouse men as viscerally as do feminine girls. Soft, mealy men will often wind up the long-term partners of tomboys, as these types of women tend to fill that gaping emasculated void in soft men’s souls.

A tomboy wise to the ways of men may ask her girlier friends why they even bother dressing up? Men will size you up 90% of the way in a second with a quick glance at your face, hourglass figure, ass and breasts, they might say. (Well, they would say it in so many words after it is filtered through the female voicebox transmogrification module sapping the words of all their urgency and power.) Three months later he might notice you keep your hair up instead of down.

But that’s the tomboy’s problem in an eggshell. The accoutrements of girlishness — clothes, makeup, jewelry, mannerism — are as much for the detriment of other women as they are for the benefit of men.

Contrary to perceived wisdom, it is actually harder to break up with a tomboy than with a girly-girl. You may think tomboys, with their masculine airs, would be better equipped emotionally to put the thought of a lost lover behind them, but tomboys are as hopelessly romantic as straight men. They suffer badly when dumped. It’s the girly-girls who, untethered from flights of abstraction or notions of loyalty, recover quickly from being dumped.

That is, unless they have first fallen in love. Then all bets are off.

4 comments / Add your comment below

  1. But perhaps my culture of lefty liberals has a problem. While there is a proven and troubling connection between preferences for traditional femininity and girls’ low self-esteem, liberals’ hand-wringing over girlie girls could be an overcorrection, a backfired strain of third-wave feminism.

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