What To Do When A Woman Switches Gears On You

“Gear switching” is a common female manipulative tactic that is very good at tripping up less experienced men. You can tell it’s happening when one minute a woman is seemingly signaling her romantic interest, and the next she’s taunting you for thinking you’re in her league.

Reader “Jaki” offers a case study of female gear switching,

Very common shit test i encounter:
she gives me a smiley either online or face to face, then:
Me: “its gonna take more than a smile to sweep me off my feet” – or along those lines – assuming the sale, that she wants to
Her: “who said i wanna do that?”

how to proceed? thx

First, never respond to a female gear switch with indignation or apologia. It doesn’t matter if she was serious, your job as a man is to never take her seriously, and this particularly applies to verbal detours she may pave away from the path to sex.

Gear switches are often, as in this case, reflexive chastity avowals. When a woman suddenly backtracks from a conversation that was turning sexual (or just mildly flirtatious), her behavior is best interpreted one of two ways:

1. she never envisioned you as a prospective lover and the change in your tone spooked her, or

2. she subconsciously doesn’t want to leave the impression that she’s easy.

If #1 applies to you, you’ve got your work cut out. If #2 is operative, your job is much easier, because you know there’s still interest, even if her words say otherwise. Perhaps it’s better to tell you what NOT to do, than to hand-feed you lines, so that in the future you can become a fisher of women.

ONE: Don’t apologize for your forwardness. You do that and you’re toast.
TWO: Don’t stammer about being misunderstood. Same result as above. Chicks don’t dig weaselly men.
THREE: Don’t cave to her frame, (her frame being “I am the girl, therefore I am the prize”).

Knowing what not to do is half the battle. Avoid the prostrate reactions I listed above, and the proper attitude will find a place in your id. Once you have the attitude, the effective response will come naturally.

KEEP ASSUMING THE SALE

“who said i wanna do that?”

“oops. you had me, but now you’ve lost me again.”

KEEP CALM AND CARRY ON

“who said i wanna do that?”

Ignore her, move on to a different topic.

KEEP UP THE PRESSURE

“who said i wanna do that?”

“experience/a hunch/a funny little thing called love.”

KEEP HER ON DEFENSE

“who said i wanna do that?”

“you’re new at this whole flirting thing, aren’t you? it shows.”

KEEP HER IN A STATE OF DREAD

“who said i wanna do that?”

“oh, ok. take care then.”

KEEP HER CHARMED

“who said i wanna do that?”

“you protest too much.”

KEEP HER CURIOUS

“who said i wanna do that?”

“three things you just did. i could tell you those three things, but maybe you’re not ready to hear so much about yourself.”

KEEP HER UNDER YOUR JERKBOY SPELL

“who said i wanna do that?”

“your winning personality.”

KEEP HER EMBARRASSED

“who said i wanna do that?”

“I dunno, but maybe next time you try not licking your lips like a hungry cat when you say that?”

***

I hope these responses give you an idea how to proceed with a gear switching girl. Now, none of these replies are guaranteed to work, but they are all guaranteed to improve your odds of closing the deal. The mating market is fierce, combative, and complex; improving your odds by even a small amount will exponentially improve your competitiveness in the all-against-all plunderdome of love.

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